| Disorder | Rating | |
| Paranoid: | Low | |
| Schizoid: | Low | |
| Schizotypal: | Moderate | |
| Antisocial: | Moderate | |
| Borderline: | Low | |
| Histrionic: | Moderate | |
| Narcissistic: | Moderate | |
| Avoidant: | Low | |
| Dependent: | Low | |
| Obsessive-Compulsive: | Moderate |
The POSITIVES and NEGATIVES.
What I go for VS what repels me.
*ATTRACTIVE:
Good posture
Carries herself well
Thinks highly of herself
Great smile
Holds her power
Authentic
Expressive
Excitable
Mostly feminine
Warm
Honest
Great sense of humour
High standards
Cares about people
Confident
Lovely eyes
Bubbly
Doesn't care about what people think
Fashionable
Unique
Positive
Nice skin
Hygenic
Likes to talk about herself
Interested in others
Has her own passions and hobbies
Intelligent (doesn't mean she has to have an 150 IQ)
*UNATTRACTIVE:
Smoker
Cares what others' think
Fat
Talks about herself constantly
Super Skinny
Boring
Has nothing going for her in her life
Drama-whore
Generic
Ugly
Bad breath
Reactive
Neediness
Negative
Unexpressive
Afraid of showing interest
Liar/Deceit
I have been learning a lot about language and communication. The key is being flexible. Taking one thing and turning it in to something else.
This is REFRAMING.
This is useful for expanding your own reality, challenging your limiting beliefs and cool stuff like that. Of course, you can also change peoples' thinking with this, misintepretation etc.
Keep your eyes pealed.
I am making my own pick-up artist dictionary, lexicon or whatever you wanna call it.
This will be a list of terms which I will probably be using in my articles so this dictionary can be a quick reference you can look back on and get a clear cut definition and understanding of a term.
Here's the list of words I currently have and I'm updating it when I come across a new one, it's going to be massive. I will include the meanings also but I just have the words at the moment.
If any of you have noticed any words or phrases I don't have then let me know in the comments and I might include them.
| #CLOSE | |
| ACTIVE DISINTEREST | |
| ATTRACTION | |
| AUTHENTICITY | |
| BINARY SCALE | |
| BLIND SPOT | |
| BT; BUYING TEMPERATURE | |
| COCKBLOCK | |
| COLD APPROACH | |
| COMFORT | |
| COOL | |
| CORE CONFIDENCE | |
| CR; COLD READING | |
| CUT THREADS | |
| EMOTIONAL CONNECTION | |
| ESCALATION | |
| FCLOSE | |
| FR; FIELD REPORT | |
| FRAME | |
| FRAME | |
| GAME | |
| GIVING VALUE | |
| HB; HOT BABE; HB8/9/10 | |
| HIRED GUNS | |
| HOOK | |
| INNER GAME | |
| IOI; INDICATOR OF INTEREST | |
| KCLOSE | |
| KINO; KINAESTHETIC | |
| KJ; KEYBOARD JOCKEY | |
| LEADING | |
| LR; LAY REPORT | |
| LTR; LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP | |
| MATT DAMON | |
| NEG; NEGATIVE COMPLIMENT | |
| NIMBUS | |
| NLP; NEURO LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING | |
| ONEITIS | |
| OPEN LOOPS | |
| OPEN; OPENERS | |
| OUTCOME DEPENDENCE | |
| OUTCOME INTERDEPENDANCE | |
| OUTER GAME | |
| PIVOT | |
| PLOWING | |
| POSITIVITY CHALLENGE | |
| PROJECTION | |
| PUA; PICK-UP ARTIST | |
| PUSH/PULL | |
| RAPPORT | |
| REACTIVE | |
| REALITY | |
| REFRAME | |
| REJECTION | |
| ROUTINES; CANNED MATERIAL | |
| SARGE; SARGING | |
| SEDUCE; SEDUCTION | |
| SET | |
| SITUATIONAL CONFIDENCE | |
| SNA; SHOCK 'N AWE | |
| SOCIAL PROOF | |
| SOI; STATEMENT OF INTENT/INTEREST | |
| SP; STICKING POINT | |
| SUPPLICATION | |
| TAKING VALUE | |
| THE CLAW | |
| UNREACTIVE | |
| WALLFLOWER | |
| WARM APPROACH |
The acronym PUA is short for Pick-Up Artist.
To me, a PUA is a person who is knowledgeable of game and applies it in every day life. A true PUA is one who loves women and wants to improve his own life as well as the women he comes in to contact with - 'leave her better than you found her'.
What people in todays society think when they hear someone is a PUA or someone who learns how to be good with women. They typically see it as weird. It's not something that is talked about much and seems manipulative. Actually it is manipulative, in a good way.
We're all conditioned socially. We have a ton of beliefs about ourselves and our capabilities. We're not really taught to go after what we want. Most of us move away from bad emotions instead of towards positive ones. I think Tyler from Real Social Dynamics said something along the lines of "because we're stimulated so early on in life that it teaches us to go after these short-term pleasures instead of looking at the long-term pleasures.".
I don't even really identify myself as a PUA yet I do study Pick-Up because I love women and I love to learn about people and social dynamics - I see why I could be considered a PUA and it seemed a better way of identifying what this site is really about. Most true PUAs know it's about improving yourself and having fun and bringing out other peoples best self.
I read a post from Pinnacle.PUASociety's blog which sounded like something I could do easily and I'm sure it will serve me if I stick to it. I will read twice a day to integrate this in to my subconscious.
By or before January 1st 2009 I will have the skills, ability and complete unshakable faith in myself where it’s totally natural for me to start talking to anyone and everyone, no matter what the context. I will be comfortable talking to those people the next time I see them and the conversation will flow naturally.
I will be able to go over to a group of people and start talking to them as if I’ve known them for years and they will love me. I will lay at least 2 girls this year. They will love me.
My super natural alpha bodylanguage will be second nature to me and I will have that flexibility to speak in a sexual way with women when I know the time is right. I will be able to convey and create excitement, euphoria, fun, charisma, passion, intrigue, dominance, desire and disinterest with my whole body, facial expressions, voice and words. I will have this intense energy which I know others people feel by my presence alone.
My eye contact will be super sharp and intense. When I look at them I fire lightening bolts from my eyes and hear the rumble and crackling. I can feel the energy rushing through my body and coursing through my veins. I look beyond the person, as if I am looking through them. It draws them in to my reality.
Attracting girls will be no problem at all because attraction is not a choice. Getting makeouts and phone numbers will be nothing to me. I will have mastered banter. I will be able to qualify her and find her reason for me wanting to get to know her better. Girls simply want me because of who I am.
I will have a job, a source of income which will allow me to buy things and treat myself regularly. I will also be fit because of going to the gym and eating a lot less junk food.
The Facebook: Decoded
Someone on the Pickup Podcast forums posted a thread about Facebook game asking if it’s a game killer. I decided to blog about it in terms of Pickup. I am no expert on this but I have had it for a while and have knowledge of it and a couple of cool things I will share.
Is Facebook a game killer? It can be.
Can it boost your game? Absolutely.
I have a natural friend (although I'm beginning to think he knows about game) that says hi to tons of people in real life and then gets them on Facebook and asks them if they're going 'whatever club on fri, me and x are goin xxx'. Short and sweet. He has over 1000 friends on there and I actually believe that's how many he has in real life because I've never seen anything like it, the guy is only like 17. He goes to a lot of clubs and stuff. It's great to have him as a friend. He doesn’t really give a shit and it’s like how the fuck does he know all these people. Anyway my point is that he has lots of Facebook friends and seems to be gaming several girls.
You should know a bit about Facebook game as a super PUAAAH hero (or potential).
Firstly, don't get a huge ass profile like I did because it shows you spend way too much time online (I do, because I like it. It's not attractive though). I know a girl who'd be considered hot but she's always on updating her status every 15 minutes. You can remove these silly boxes like “tell me what you honestly think of me. Your hottest friends” and stuff like that. You can have your own privacy on Facebook believe it or not.
THE WALL
Some girls will flirt with you over the wall but remember everyone can see that so you might wanna use the message feature instead. Respect her privacy. Calibrate to what kind of girl she is.
Just be wise about what you want people to see and what you don't want people to see.
People have been fired from their jobs because their employer found out they were partying instead of being sick or whatever.
Fuck other guys, they'll probably blow themselves out. What's cool about it is you can see how they talk to her (Wall-to-Wall... Unless the guy has private) and how she responds. Obviously the better your real interaction then the better response you'll get if she writes back.
There's no 100% rule for each situation but don't message her back 2 seconds after she's messaged you. Don't write on her wall if she's sent you a personal message. Being too available, even if you are… Is not attractive.
P.S. Don't use the funwall application it's stupid.
FRIENDS
Obvious social proof. Add all the friends you have and make lots of friends. Don't be afraid to add people. Fuck the ones who act weird or ignore you. Some of them don't check emails or just forget about Facebook. Tonight I was wondering whether to add this girl or not who I'd briefly bantered with on a night out. It was like 5 minutes or something and nothing really solid. I saw her on some event thing so I added her and she messaged me on my wall and we bantered some more and she's asking the interest questions... I couldn't yet bring myself to use
I have added girls who I never spoke to at school but now it's over it like it's ok to speak because we have that commonality, weird but just how it goes. I was very different back then so probably a good thing.
This is one where a girl who used to go our school, she's a year or two younger (I'm nearly 20). Ok so I joined a group this girl set up, had around 15 people in it and I put my 2cents in the comment about the group and she sent out a mass message thanking people for joining. I didn't bother responding back. I don't remember how but she ended up adding me, I am a good bud with this guy who's her friend. We spoke a bit. Maybe it's lack of experience or they're just nice, you know this because they'll respond to each bit of your reply, may be lengthy responses, laugh at little things and message you back all the time. Here you know you could probably hang out with her and see what she's like if you aren't on very familiar terms. For this I'd use the message thing so she knows you have privacy or respect hers. Also hanging out is better than date or anything because the word 'date' causes the mind to jump to expectations and anxiety and it will probably make things weird no matter what her decision.
PHOTOS
She needs more proof? HERE. Photos are the best way. You can have a lot of friends but are they real or what. Get a big picture or where it's easy to notice you. Upload lots of pictures. Put your good looking/sp pictures on your profile. You can use the 'big pictures' application to get big pictures so girls who will visit your profile can't not see you with other girls. Gets them wondering, who is that girl etc. I don't think some girls like being tagged in photos because the rest of their friends see them, guys start asking about it "whos that", "is that your bf" and "looks like your having fun" even if he wasn't at the venue or brings it up later in a conversation with her LOL. So don't tag them. If it's after a nightout and they were climbing all over you in a pic then they will usually say they were drunk, which may be true :). The forgetfulness seems to be very common as well, it must be all that drinking. :P
I personally love collecting the pics just as a reminder of old times, it's great to just look through them and be like wow remember that.
EVENTS
It's just an easy way of organising events and stuff. A person who's comfortable meeting you in person may not be comfortable on the phone so Facebook might be better for them. Girls who are friends of yours can see the events you go to which is a positive (unless she's psycho :D).
MISC
You can do little things like instead of using the short version of your name, use the long version. Why, because nobody really does that. I use for example: "Travis G. Bickle" -- 'course that's not my real name but just tiny stuff like that seperates you.
I'm no expert or anything on this either. I get good responses from it when I see the girls in real life. It helps them see positive aspects of your life which are attractive. The same way you would wanna know more about a girl. She may be stunning on the surface but a total trainwreck.
Some random tips:
1. asking her if she's on facebook may be a bit direct, a lot of girls wont mind and they'll be cool with it. another way could be bringing it up in conversation jokingly with your friends... Accomplishment intro - "this guys a pimp, he's got 1000 friends on Facebook". If she has it she'll probably ask depending on how long you've been talking and how good the interaction is going.
2. don't just ask "do you have facebook", I made this mistake. Say "I'll add you on facebook". It's like "who are you" instead of "what's your name".
3. if you do just ask her if she has facebook...
If there's anything I've missed that I feel I can speak on then give me a shout.
Appreciate it.
Travis
There’s times when you have a choice between doing something and not doing something and you really don’t know which is best. This article will help you to have more clarity and be more decisive.
Now this sounds very black and white but...
FRIDAY
I like to write my mentalities to go out with so I know what I should be thinking.
Here's what I got:
Pure Fun
Speak to everyone
306 – Chat to girls -- 306 because I have 306 posts on the RSD forum.
NIGHTGAME
Ok here’s how it went.
In
HB_Cute_Neutral. (1 approach)
It’s a friend of a friend and I’ve never spoken to her. This girl is so cute. Her eyes are gorgeous. She was dancing near me and I saw her looking at me a couple of times I think so I opened her and said “you’re so cute, I just had to tell you”. I lead her over to get a photo. She’s open and receptive yet very neutral. I asked her if she gets guys saying that all the time, just for my curiosity. She said yes, not good. Whatever, got the approach done.
HB_Boobs (half an approach)
A girl walking down the hall bit says “ohh my boobs” to her friend but pretty loudly so as a guy I turned around like *did someone say boobs*, I didn’t say this. She noticed, I turn back around walking back, she says I’m not allowed to do that in a kind of flirty way. As we’re walking I come back with, “what you gonna do, spank me”.. She says she’ll batter me (what the fuck, hah). I say “you probably would as well”. I realise after it wasn’t that good of a response. I meant it like ‘you’re the type of girl who’d batter someone ‘cause you don’t know how to flirt properly’ in a jokey way but it can be taken both ways (ooh matron!). She ends up saying “I have a boyfriend” as I walk off and laugh, I thought it interesting how she brought the b/f up when I didn’t mention anything.
HB_Ginga (half an approach)
I guessed her name right, it was a 50/50 chance because she has a twin. This is basically a warm approach, I don’t like counting this but I counted it as HALF an approach and combined with HB_Boobs, I guess it’s 1. I try saying something about good guess. She’s a bit cold on me but she was staring for me to come approach, I think. One good thing about this was I lead her to get a picture with me, social proof boost I don’t know if she wanted it or not. She was on her own for a while so I opened her.
My buddy Cory was being a dick as expected, he just tells everyone to fuck off and gives them the Vs. Although he was slapping girls asses and getting everyone reacting to him which is interesting and something to learn from. A few girls seemed to enjoy it as well. DJ was telling him to calm down and the bouncer had a word with him. He was being a prick and I ignored him several times. He’s barred for a while. Spoke to him after and he regrets it, lol he’s going to cut down, hopefully. He can open girls when he’s drunk but that’s it. He wont open sober. He’s a good mate when he’s not pissed out his head. His strong point is that he doesn’t care that much and demonstrates this. Mine is that I am more understanding but both can be seen as weak and strong.
Unlike many other times, I didn’t get pissed off with myself. I walked home kind of neutral but glad I got approaches done. I danced most of the night away by myself with Joe (Shyish) and Jack (Fun alpha guy) who are in my social circle.
SATURDAY
Self-amusement.
I went to
We Go to some small place, pretty busy (I’ll call it Govz). Me and Cory grab drinks and go over to one place being wallflowers. Some girls come near me and Cory. Girl stands right near me
HB_NeutralBrunette (1 approach)
OH I WONDER IF SHE WANTS ME TO CHAT HER UP. OF COURSE SHE DOES. SHE’S STOOD NEAR ME AND ALL OF HER FRIENDS ARE ON THE OTHER SIDE. It was weird how they just came over like that, I was thinking what the fuck is going on here. I ask her if upstairs is a toilet or dance floor. I think I see her checking me out a couple of times, I believe in my head she’s attracted and still think she was but I’ll open and she’ll be pretty boring. I know I’ve seen her somewhere before but I don’t mention it because it seems to show too much interest or sounds like some line to me. I do talk to her a bit but she’s kind of shy, neutral and boring. I should have talked to her friends, I bet she wouldn’t have been so boring then. I realised this after. I have to work on opening groups of girls, get a bit of competition between them and social proof. Social proof is massive.
We check the place out, chode about again by ourselves and then go to another place.
We get to this other place we’ll call Davez.
I speak to Jane and Samantha when they arrive. We’re at different tables. I know Jane is attracted to me, she’s persistent. Her friend Sam is quite cute. Jane texts me while I’m with Cory saying we look lonely (which we were) so I text them back saying to come over then. She sends one back saying why so I say because we’re lonely. They’re going some place in town. I don’t really want to go with them, maybe we should have.
Sam felt a bit uncomfortable (she doesn’t really know us that well) but she was cool after a while, I said “are you Sam” then Jane kept talking to us and that and Sam started joining in. Sam was quite cool. We saw a celeb’, they didn’t notice him so when I pointed him out, they started screaming and I found that hilarious. I told them to go chat him up. It would have been interesting to see that. We talked a bit and it was cool, conversation flowing normally, not pissed hah. They try getting us to go town, we don’t end up going. We get photos of each other, do silly poses and I talk a bit and I’ve got rapport with Jane. Cool.
We go back to Govz and that HB-NeutralBrunette is there again. Me ‘n Cory sit down and this girl sits next to me, I think I talk to her again but I am not one for plowing in conversation so I stop and look away. Cory looks at me like “what’s he gonna do”. I noticed and smirk. When I look away and stop trying.. She her arm over me. Weird. Maybe she’s using me to get some guy jealous or something, he starts talking to her.
Even though we have next to zero social proof, I see girls checking me out a lot that night. I’ve realised looks are more important that I thought they were.
Quite a realisation lately is wear a cool pair of shoes, jeans and a shirt. Check out my fashion post.
So 303 approaches to go, girls only and COLD APPROACHES. Seems impossible to me but I’m doing it anyway, no excuses. I’m loving this blog thing as well.
Leave some comments and feedback please.
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I had been posting on Real Social Dynamics a lot and was being a keyboard jockey and Jack Diesel (I think) posted and said to open 306 girls. That is how many posts I have on there, as of writing this. I cannot post on there until I have done the approaches. I must have more approaches than posts. I am recording the amount on the notes part on my phone. I will see how far I have come by the time I've done all the approaches.
The opener I will be trying to use is 'who are you', instead of 'what's your name'. I have been using 'what's your name' a bit in the past and it is weaker than 'who are you'.
I haven't been doing as well as I could have been doing but I have done a few which is great. I record my interactions in my journal on Word. I'm going to write an article about keeping a journal also because it's a great idea.
I went out on Friday and Saturday last week. The names and places, obvious details will be changed for privacy reasons.
You might be unaware of this but your body language may be causing people to see you as lazy, boring, unapproachable and sad or even depressed.
We all know the majority of communication is non-verbal. I’m just going to go through some basics off the top of my head as I think of them.
When you look on the internet for openers, routines and lines to start or use in a conversation to make it fun or easy for both of you – the people writing those assume you have already confident, open and cool body language. It's hard for some people because they are so unaware of it but it all comes with practice. Small chunk what you read here and work on it until you think you have it down. If you fall back in to old habits then work on it until you do it unconsciously. We have a lot of unconscious bad habits, it's about becoming conscious of them and then rewiring it in your neurology so it's normal for you and everything works in your favour at an unconscious level.
Get a good haircut that suits you. Experiment with it. Don’t be afraid to dye it different colours, let it grow or shave it all off. Gay guys and women hairdressers typically have an eye for what looks good so get their opinion. Take before and after photos. If you like the after photos then you can use them when you next go back to get it cut.
You wont admit this anyway but if you aren’t brushing your teeth, you need to make it a daily habit. If they’re yellow or anything go get them whitened. Whitened teeth are attractive.
Facial hair. Get something that looks good. Some suit facial hair, some don’t. Try for yourself and see how people notice you or what people say. Get opinions if you have to.
You’ll probably need to get outside of your comfort zone if you’re upgrading the wardrobe. This is where I am now. I have some cool stuff but still could do with a cool pair of trainers and jeans. A nice pair of white trainers is cool (no Nike) and goes well with many other clothes.
Keep quality over quantity in mind also with the clothes you’re buying. I’m loving these t-shirts with crystals on. Seemed gay to me before – my mate would be obsessed with fashion and get this stuff. But shows you have some fashion sense and are not afraid of standing out.
Just a nice pair of black shoes. They make you look the bizz.
Take a look at fashion magazines, on TV (Hollyoaks!) and observe people when you’re out. Go shopping with friends that are fashionable.
Leave some comments and feedback please.
Good question.
I'm a student living in the UK. I'm a pretty good looking guy who hasn't been that successful with the ladies, yet hasn't been too bad. I have had a couple of girlfriends, nothing serious. I have snogged a lot of girls when I was younger, that was great but nothing serious and I was too pussy to escalate in any way, even getting phone numbers or anything. I was quite reserved socially and not that confident. I'm confident in many situations and know I still have a long way to go. I don't want to give too much away about myself, but do feel free to ask.
This is my blog where I post ONLINE about what goes on in my life.
